


Alex Dent and the Snake Named Elder Price

by NocturnaNyx



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy - Douglas Adams, The Book of Mormon - Ambiguous Fandom, The Book of Mormon - Parker/Stone/Lopez
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Crack, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Randomness, This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-28
Updated: 2016-11-28
Packaged: 2018-09-02 21:20:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 329
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8683768
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NocturnaNyx/pseuds/NocturnaNyx
Summary: Alex Dent was hungry.  Alex Dent decided to go to a bakery to get a bun.  Alex Dent met a snake.  Randomness ensues.





	

**Author's Note:**

> This story is complete and utter crack inspired by a meme and written at 3 am. Nothing good ever occurs at 3 am.
> 
> Nothing you recognise is mine.

Alex Dent was hungry. He was about to set out for his local bakery when a snake slithered up to his door and rang the bell. It had on a white shirt with a black tie and a name tag that had the words Elder Price inscribed upon it. The snake slithered forward and asked “Excuse me, sir, do you have a moment to talk about our savior, Lord Voldemort?”

“Who?” Inquired Alex cautiously.

“The Dark Lord Voldemort. The Great Snake Speaker. The Omnipotent Evil Overlord. Etcetera, etcetera. You get the jist.”  
“What about him then?”

“What?”

“Well, you asked me if I had a moment to talk about this Lord Volde-person. I do happen to have a moment, so, what about him?”  
The snake looked quite flabbergasted at this response. He gazed up at Alex with a befuddled expression.

“You…. Actually want to listen to what I have to say?!”

“I said I did, yes.”

“Erm…. Okay…. It’s just that, well, nobody ever wants to listen to me. Usually people just run away screaming.”

Alex looked at the snake and stated very clearly, “I’m not going to run away screaming. I’m actually rather curious. What does your Overlord do?”

The snake looked uncomfortable and after an awkward and inexplicably tense moment, he replied.

“I don’t actually know. You see, no one ever listens to us snakes, so none of us have actually read the manual that explains everything we need to mention. From what I know, I think he’s some Hitler dude, but without the mustache.”

Alex paused. “Oh. I never did like the mustache. So… Can I have one of those little pamphlets?”

“Sure,” the snake replied, handing one over to him. “Thank you for supporting our savior, Lord Voldemort. Have a pleasant day.”

And with that, the snake slithered off and over to Alex’s neighbor’s house. Alex stared after him for a moment, then shrugged, grabbed his coat, and continued on his path to the bakery.

**Author's Note:**

> The meme this work was inspired by can be found by typing "snake lord voldemort meme" into any Google search box.


End file.
